Have you ever noticed how life oftentimes seems to turn out backwards and sideways, upside down and inside out? When you finally have time to see your friends you then realize that you actually are too tired to call anyone or drive anywhere and end up staying home alone. Then when you have money in your wallet and head to the store to buy something cute, nothing fits or is left in your size and you walk away with nothing. Then you feel depressed so call your friends to hopefully help you get out of your funk but then everyone already has plans. And on it goes…
Today I cried. I haven’t done it since my early recovery days, when I just wanted to binge. Yes. I CRIED. I wanted it so bad, but just couldn’t do it anymore. There was no way back. And it helped!
Today I cried too. Not because I wanted the food, I just felt lonely. And I felt so much better after it.
Do you know why you’ll feel better after you cry: Have you ever gotten a canker sore in your mouth and your mom has had you rinse with warm salt water? Do you know why it helps to put salt in the water? Because salt has a healing agent in it. Similarly, I think when we experience healing when we cry because very purposely we have salt in our tears for a reason…to heal! (At least that’s my theory, which is my fancy way of saying it’s my opinion!). And if we can cry with someone rather than alone it really does help us feel loved while we’re releasing the intensity inside, even if the person we’re venting to is on the other end of the phone and not actually sitting with us. So go ahead. Cry!
And then I celebrated the national pasta day (thank you, for reminding this, Nicole) with sushi
and wine!
greta, today i also cried! and screamed! after lunch, i wanted peanut butter so badly, but despite my "i'm healthy, i can do this" rationalisation, i couldn't trust myself with it, not even with a tablespoon! salt from the tears cleaned my wounds. and then gwendolyn licked off the salt. i'm glad that we both (you and i) survived. there are seven hours until the end of my day, but i'm good to go. :) x
ReplyDeleteIt’s sad that there’s no perfect recovery. But experiences like these are beautiful. They make us genuine survivors.
ReplyDeleteCrying has been a BIG part of my recovery. I never ever ever cried when i was bulimic, I consumed my emotions and then flushed them down the toilet.
ReplyDeleteSo for me, crying is a reason to celebrate! It means I am feeling my emotions, and that is very healthy.
My physiology professor made that VERY SAME POINT about tears and the salt in them. :) Did you know that your tears also contain immunologic particles that fight disease and kill bacteria? Crazy right?!
ReplyDeleteELIZA, I agree how recovery makes one sensitive to things. You just can’t turn to food. You have to LIVE through. Yey for life and for tears.
ReplyDeleteSABLE, that’s amazing!!! I should do more crying instead of shopping, I guess. :))
ReplyDeletedon't forfeit shopping for tears! there's enough room for both! :)
ReplyDelete9 minutes left to my day, and it was a complete success!
off to bed @ midnight!
goodnight, ladies! :) xx
That's so interesting about the properties of tears! I am going to tell my clients that :)
ReplyDelete