I always do after I stumble upon some ED recovery’s philosophy on food. I find it miraculous when food works as a collaborator in their healing. And sure I always want to try it. Maybe it is better than mine; maybe it’ll heal me too.
WRONG.
When I was ready for recovery a year ago, I needed a plan. The books I had read on Bulimia proclaimed the structured eating plan and the legalization of all food. The plan sounded good, but I could never stick to eat. EVER. Feeling a failure I dig deeper to the net and found out some interesting recovered girls’ stories proclaiming the different approach to food – vegetarian, vegan, sugar free, gluten free, low carb, eating chocolate every day, intuitive diet, eating six times a day, fasting for a half of the day and so on and so forth…
And I’ve tried them all.
Some of them lasted for a week, some for a half of the day. And instead of feeling a failure this time I pretended to be a detective in a search for my own holy grail. It took time, but I found it, stuck to it and was healed. (Of course food was just a part of the whole recovery, but the big one)
I guess, my rambling today is about how no diet or way of eating is ever going to work the same for two people.
Even though we share the same history of the disease, similar interests and views on the world - we are not the same. One will never know what works for him until he allows himself to find out. Following other peoples path doesn’t work. Recovery means discovering what you are. What do you like eating? When do you like eating? How do you feel after eating certain foods, and what do you really crave: the chocolate or a hug? It will never be the same as it is for Nicole or for me, or other ex-bulimic. There’s no right recovery or food philosophy, cause at the end we all look for the happiness and health.
Speaking on my philosophy: last night’s dinner:
So, do you have your food philosophy?
Amen.
ReplyDeleteI have my own philosophy and as I continue to grow in recovery and evolve ...it fluctuates.
Certainly, however, I am adamant about no sugar and no flour.
dear greta, i am SO late for a wedding reception but wanted to see if you posted anything new . . . and voila! you even mentioned me! i am so excited, and i must reiterate that your blog is my favourite of all on the web. i feel like you're the foreign pen pal that i always wanted in seventh grade. :) you are SO right about the different philosophy thing. today at yoga, my very skinny / very healthy / former model / husband is a rock star friend said to me, "i read your blog. you really do eat a lot!" nobody believed me because i look thin . . . but they now realise, because of my blog, that i eat a lot. at first, i thought, "oh, man, i need to cut back, or i'll get fat. ew, my thighs look freaking huge today." but then my head rationalised, "NO! she's complimenting you. you've been doing this for a year. it works for you. keep doing it." so, my diet may not work for others, but it totally works for me, and i'm elated to say that it makes me really freaking happy. but it would make others miserable. eggs and goat cheese and wine might absolutely be your special secret. it wouldn't be mine. but it could be yours! there is an ED blog girl who recently criticised my diet on my blog . . . i allow that to enter one ear and exit the other, because it's just so harsh and non peaceful. i just want peace with my food, my friends, and myself. and that's why i'm glad to have found your blog . . . because it's so damn peaceful! well, there's my gin martini talking! i must be off to a wedding reception. i heart you, and i'm so happy to have been mentioned in your post. xx
ReplyDeleteI think everyone needs their own food philosophy -- no two relationships between humans are identical; why would my relationship with food ever be identical to yours, you know?
ReplyDeleteThank you for your feedback, girls. You’ve inspired me for another blog post. Stay tuned.
ReplyDeleteNicole, you are the best! Can’t wait to hear about the wedding reception you’ve attended.
ReplyDeletegreta, the wedding reception was fabulous! it was at a nineteenth century hotel! i had too many drinks and didn't snap enough photographs! (including of my food!). oh, but i just remembered something . . . i will blog about it tomorrow! :)
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