(ex) Bulimic + Bodybuilder = A Match?

So I happen to be living with a Bodybuilder for two years now.
My BF has been serious about weight lifting for more than ten years so he knows what he does. Yes, his dedication and enthusiasm lead me to weight lifting, though he had never pushed or forced me into this. So that’s a plus.
But the best thing for (ex) Bulimic living with a Bodybuilder is food.
We eat healthy.
No junk food is found in our house.
We are happy.
We don’t have sugar, flour or bread.
We eat vegetables, fruit, protein (chicken, fish and some beef) eggs, cottage cheese, plain yogurt, nuts, protein powders, healthy oils and drink wine.
Ok, I don’t do fruit (I likely to binge on it), protein powder (it’s just not a food for me), and I try to stay away from dairy.
Isn’t it cool? There is no place for my eating disorder in my house!!!

As for tonight we fed on chicken and tomatoes and the wine.

That's my portion :)

I wonder, what’s your match?

Day One of the Challenge

Day One of the Primal Blue Challenge iscomplete.
I guess my challenge even would be not to eat Primal, but to try and taste new foods, because I usually eat the same things over and over again.
For example my day starts with coffee and planning for the day.

Later on I have a snack of this

or tuna, or some chicken.

Lunch is usually big salad consisting of greens, tomatoes, cucumbers, mushrooms, sunflower, sesame and pumpkin seeds dressed with sesame and olive oil plus a big portion of some kind of protein chicken, fish or beef.

Then I snack on nuts while working.

My dinners are similar to lunches or me and my boy go out.
Finally I have a glass of wine and if I’m hungry I eat some tuna, eggs or cheese (well no more).
Boring.

Perhaps it’s time for some change?…

The New Challenge

I’m committing to do The Primal Blueprint 30 Day Challenge

This does not much differ from my way of eating.
However my challenge is to eliminate dairy from my diet, because it really upsets my stomach.
As well as once again truly commit to weight lifting and try some new stuff, like yoga.

So, day one is TODAY.

I'm back

So, I had a relapse.
After having an awesome vocation in the wonderful Austria,

my past ED demons have caught me…for the past several months I had some bad and good days trying to figure out what had set me back - why do I chose food instead of dealing with my feelings, frustrations and anxieties.
I didn’t want to turn my blog into m recovery journal, but I can’t escape from myself. Bulimia has been a huge part of my life. I thought I had recovered from it. Well, apparently I did not.
Back at square one.
I chose to recover.
As for my family. Now there are four of us me, my BF,and these two

our girl and the little boy.

Not quite Primal in not quite finished kitchen

I’ve been busy lately, because I have a new kitchen!
Well, not quite, but the main things have been done and I can enjoy my coffee in here…

I love love love my home. I mean I love spending time at home. I love it clean, organised and stylish. I put a lot of effort to have that, however my boy is quite messy and at times it’s just frustrating how things in my home are not my way. I have accepted him not being perfect in this area, so we do not argue about it any more. Boys are boys.
So I’ve been arranging my new cupboards and cabinets. Somehow my old plates, cups and bowls do not fit into my new kitchen. I want something new and fresh, however I can’t afford it.

My diet has been ok. By ok I mean still not 100% primal, but close. I’m still enjoying dairy and diet coke (this one has to go!!!!!!). Next week I’m going to Austria for a week and I guess I will have to adapt my diet to the food choices the hotels will offer. Therefore I’m not pushing myself on this - just enjoying my life.

Today I had a breakfast. At 7 am. I was just hungry. Usually I only eat at 12-1 pm.
Tilapia with some greens and home made mayo (and then I had seconds on the fish)

A snack.

I did my WORKOUT
Chest/shoulders and biceps

And lunch.

Back to arranging my kitchen, I wonder has anyone loves their home as much as I do?

Intuitive Eating - Postponed

I’m not gaining weight.
I HAVE TO.
I do not want to write my weight right now, because the number scares me. I have muscle. I’m skinny but quite ripped. My veins are popping out (even in my thighs area) however I’m still at my lowest.

What’s wrong with me not eating enough to gain???

In my recovery I tried to eat intuitively. I have always been into IF approach even not knowing what the hell was that. So I was usually not hungry until about 1 pm, than I was going for eggs and nuts and meat and cottage cheese – all good stuff. I was eating until full. And during my eating window (8 hours or so) I had about 6 meals. Apparently not enough.

I guess eating disorders mess up natural hunger signals, and it can take years after recovery for them to return.
I came to the conclusion that I need a structured eating plan and counting calories.

Following a meal plan now does not mean that I will never be able to eat intuitively I hope  one day I  will be back in touch with my body to enough of an extent that I will be able to forget about calories or exchanges and eat intuitively.

Breakfast/Snack at 11 am.

Looser?..

Yesterday morning I had a plan:

1. To workout
2. To buy some boxes for my winter clothes which occupy all my closet and my summer ones just all over the place
3. To arrange my closet
4. To go to the movies

So went to the gym.

WORKOUT
Hamstrings

5 min elliptical (warm up)
Lying leg curls 4 sets~8 reps (50.5)
Sitting leg curls 4 sets~8 reps (50.5)
Stiff leg dead lifts 4 sets~10 reps (24)
Bulgarian Split Squats 3 sets~8 reps (10 kg)
Machine glute kicks 4 sets~8 reps (70)


After I had a snack

and went shopping for some boxes for my winter clothes…

And I lost it…
I spent the whole day at the mall… mainly window shopping.

When I got home I was beat.

So my closet is still a mess.

I was too lazy to drive to the movies.

Just hang out with the boy and some of this.

God, I hate, when I do not accomplish something I plan.
Looser?…