Not quite Primal in not quite finished kitchen

I’ve been busy lately, because I have a new kitchen!
Well, not quite, but the main things have been done and I can enjoy my coffee in here…

I love love love my home. I mean I love spending time at home. I love it clean, organised and stylish. I put a lot of effort to have that, however my boy is quite messy and at times it’s just frustrating how things in my home are not my way. I have accepted him not being perfect in this area, so we do not argue about it any more. Boys are boys.
So I’ve been arranging my new cupboards and cabinets. Somehow my old plates, cups and bowls do not fit into my new kitchen. I want something new and fresh, however I can’t afford it.

My diet has been ok. By ok I mean still not 100% primal, but close. I’m still enjoying dairy and diet coke (this one has to go!!!!!!). Next week I’m going to Austria for a week and I guess I will have to adapt my diet to the food choices the hotels will offer. Therefore I’m not pushing myself on this - just enjoying my life.

Today I had a breakfast. At 7 am. I was just hungry. Usually I only eat at 12-1 pm.
Tilapia with some greens and home made mayo (and then I had seconds on the fish)

A snack.

I did my WORKOUT
Chest/shoulders and biceps

And lunch.

Back to arranging my kitchen, I wonder has anyone loves their home as much as I do?

Intuitive Eating - Postponed

I’m not gaining weight.
I HAVE TO.
I do not want to write my weight right now, because the number scares me. I have muscle. I’m skinny but quite ripped. My veins are popping out (even in my thighs area) however I’m still at my lowest.

What’s wrong with me not eating enough to gain???

In my recovery I tried to eat intuitively. I have always been into IF approach even not knowing what the hell was that. So I was usually not hungry until about 1 pm, than I was going for eggs and nuts and meat and cottage cheese – all good stuff. I was eating until full. And during my eating window (8 hours or so) I had about 6 meals. Apparently not enough.

I guess eating disorders mess up natural hunger signals, and it can take years after recovery for them to return.
I came to the conclusion that I need a structured eating plan and counting calories.

Following a meal plan now does not mean that I will never be able to eat intuitively I hope  one day I  will be back in touch with my body to enough of an extent that I will be able to forget about calories or exchanges and eat intuitively.

Breakfast/Snack at 11 am.

Looser?..

Yesterday morning I had a plan:

1. To workout
2. To buy some boxes for my winter clothes which occupy all my closet and my summer ones just all over the place
3. To arrange my closet
4. To go to the movies

So went to the gym.

WORKOUT
Hamstrings

5 min elliptical (warm up)
Lying leg curls 4 sets~8 reps (50.5)
Sitting leg curls 4 sets~8 reps (50.5)
Stiff leg dead lifts 4 sets~10 reps (24)
Bulgarian Split Squats 3 sets~8 reps (10 kg)
Machine glute kicks 4 sets~8 reps (70)


After I had a snack

and went shopping for some boxes for my winter clothes…

And I lost it…
I spent the whole day at the mall… mainly window shopping.

When I got home I was beat.

So my closet is still a mess.

I was too lazy to drive to the movies.

Just hang out with the boy and some of this.

God, I hate, when I do not accomplish something I plan.
Looser?…

Enough with the Fashion magazines

I love fashion.
Every month I buy at least six fashion magazines. I feed on them.

Well I’m done.
As a recovering anorexic and bulimic I find no good looking at the models that reflect unrealistic standard against which I can’t feel good about myself. 

I see how today millions of women possess a negative body image, or at the very least, body dissatisfaction. Sadly, our society is highly focused on physical perfection.
And though this perfection may offer variables such as hair and eye color, skin color, and even height, one area that affords precious little latitude is size.
The models, actresses and celebrities – those considered to be the 'beautiful' people – are so thin, if not down-right skinny. And these are everywhere: showcased regularly on entertainment shows, pictured larger-than-life on the movie screen, and featured on the pages of trendy magazines.
Here's where the problem comes in: we are barraged with these images every single day. So much so, that women begin to feel that being skinny is the norm that everyone should reflect. But unfortunately, they don't.
And of course there's always a new diet on the market to help and us easily achieve that much sought-after weight loss...
Sad.
So I’m done with the magazines.
The look is only one part of who am I.

Please, do not mind the background. We had a huge fire couple of weeks ago, so our house is in rebuilding process.

We are meant to be different and unique.

It is the inside, not the outside that truly matters.

Yesterday's workout and My Plate

WORKOUT
Back and Triceps

Pull ups (assisted) 4 sets~8 reps
Lat pull down 4 sets~8 reps
Seated cable row 4 sets~8 reps
Barbell row 4 sets~10 reps (need to increase the weight)
Hyperextension 4 sets~8 reps
Scull crushers 4 sets~8 reps
Cable triceps extensions 4 sets~8 reps

Moving to the food.
I really liked Sable’s comment on how according to the American government one should eat. That doesn’t make any sense to me.
My plate looks like this

Oh, and I forgot coffee.

This morning's treat

Honestly

I have no idea if anyone's reading the stuff I put out there.
But if there is, I must be honest.
I had suffered from anorexia, overeating and bulimia.
It has been only more that 6 months that I have started to change my attitude towards food, body image and myself.
It's very hard to know who you truly are while having any type of ED. Because then life isn't about you, it's about the food. You're so lost that you don't know how to love, laugh, live and enjoy things that are out there. All you think is food, and more food - what to eat, how not to eat, how much to eat - counting, measuring, loosing it, overeating, purging - every minute, every second of your life...
It's so sad!
I had no life, because of this.
I had no idea who am I.
I had no friends.
I had pushed away my parents, all my boyfriends and everyone who came across with suggestions about having some fun in life.
Because my fun was food.
Now I understand that deeper problems were lying under all those food thoughts. Probably too painful to dig into them...
But one day I did.
Now I'm still in recovery. I hope to be brave enough to continue on this painful topic and reveal how my life has changed since I faced my demons and learned how to laugh.

Easy evening

I was so lazy to cook (even chicken) so I and my boy went out for some non Paleo (again)

At home we continue to enjoy some of this

What's wrong with me?

Why can't I commit?

On the whole I eat pretty healthy. No sugar, little grains, just lots of dairy, diet coke and chewing gum. I notice that dairy does not do me any good, as well as artificial sweeteners.

I need real food.

And lots of it.

In the past I had some serious issues with my body image, food and diet as a whole.

I'm still underweight.

So I decided to use a combination of Paleo and weight lifting as my recovery tools.

I just need to commit.

SERIOUSLY

Leg day

This morning started with some coffee of course

Then off to the gym for some Leg workout.

OK, this is not the best picture of me being 34 and dressing like a teenager.

So, WORKOUT

Quads

5 min elliptical warm-up

Barbell squat 4 sets~8 reps

Leg press 4 sets~8 reps

Leg extensions 4 sets~8 reps

Walking luges 4 sets~16 steps

Hanging leg raises 3 sets~10 reps (well, I hate doing abs)

After that I went to work and haven't brought any snack so I had something non Paleo

cottage cheese and rice cakes.

Back home I enjoyed my chicken with salad and coffee with some coconut oil in it.

Yesterday

Yesterday, I had these

coconut oil and an egg

So the day was completely primal.

No dress, just salads and the first day on Paleo Diet

So, I went shopping.
Got nothing!
I hate when it happens. I spent two hours at the mall and didn't even buy an underwear...
Well, at 2pm had my first salad

Nothing special just some greens, tomatoes, chicken, an egg and EVOO with some salad dressing.
Two hours later I had more chicken with some greens

A half of it was already eaten before I took the picture.
For a snack I had coffee with some coconut oil in it and a handful of almonds.

Yes, the food is boring, but tasty. I have no idea how this diet will go on. I just hope to see some improvement in my health and strength.

I'm not into Mondays

I'm not into Mondays.
But since I do not have much work today, I'm thinking about going shopping... for a summer dress... :)
It's going to be a VERY HOT week in here and my shorts and teshirts will be unwearable. So, I need a nice dress.

Coffee in the morning

and lots of thoughts on my new diet...

I clearly need it, my skin is disasterous and I need a good kick start for building more of a muscle.

No diet

I was supposed to start the Paleo diet today...
Well I didn't.
I must confess, that I hate changing plans, however I decided to finish up my dairy and have the glass of wine from the previous night.

I snaked on cottage cheese with some almond and coconut flakes.

Then played with this little lady. Love my kitty.

For dinner I had chicken and...

some of my favourite wine.

Short Workout

WORKOUT
Shoulders

Must confess that I do not have a specific routine. Bad. I'm kind of looking for it (still), even though I have been working out for 8 month and heavy lifting for 6. But as you can see from the pictures there is some progress in my arm area :)

I do shoulders, chest and biceps at home (mainly). For the rest I go to the gym.

Standing mmilitary press 4 sets~7reps (5kg bar is not included)
Upright barbell row 4 sets~8 reps (5 kg bar is not included)
Standing lateral raise 4 sets~8 reps (3kg each)
Front dumbbell raise 4 sets~8 reps (3kg)




Oh, and the only supplement I use is Xtend during my workouts.
That's it. No protein powders and other stuff bodybuilders use.

but

I realise that if I want muscle, I have to eat a lot.

That what's bothering me...



Sunday Morning

Good morning.
I'm an early bird. I usually wake up at 6!!!
And what I love about early mornings is my coffee with the dash of cinnamon in it and

reading blogs...

Lots of them.

I have to catch up with my favourite bloggers because they are mostly Americans, however I just love love love spending my time reading about their lives...

For Workout today I have Shoulder day.

Will do it later in my home gym.

For Fashion - lots of reading to catch up on:

For Food - The Paleo diet starting today.
Some big salads are on my mind. Hope to post some pictures of what I'll be eating today.
And now - back to my coffee...

Saturday

Nothing much.


WORKOUT
Chest & Biceps

Chest press 2 warm-up sets
4 sets~6 reps (10kg bar weight is not included)
Incline chest press 4 sets~6 reps (8,5kg)
Dumbell pec flyes 4 sets~8 reps (4 kg each)

Barbell curl 4 sets~8 reps (5kg bar weight is not included)

Concentration curls 4 sets~8 reps (5 kg each)



FOOD


I eat mainly cottage cheese with lots of mixed nuts... sad, I know...

However, no more dairy starting Sunday.

Friday

Well, I've written yesterday, but lost my text somewhere?????????????
Got to get used to this blogging thing.
However...

WORKOUT
Hamstrings

5 min elliptical (warm up)
Lying leg curls 4 sets~7 reps (50.5)
Sitting leg curls 4 sets~8 reps (50.5)
Stiff leg dead lifts 4 sets~10 reps (24)
Mashine glut kicks 4 sets~8 reps (70)
Glut mashine 4 sets~8reps (70.10)

Total 50 min in the gym

FOOD
Well, I'd like to post some pictures of what I eat, but it's not very inspirational, so hopefully I will start my new (Paleo) diet on Sunday and then talk about some inspirational healthy food.

FASHION

And again no pictures, however I was really stylish :))

In the evening I had my usual wine and cheese, which I'm going to give up for my diet... meanwhile, just enjoying them.

Well. I guess, I should start writing with a proper introduction.
Name: Greta
Age: 34
…
Oh, god, is that it?
On the whole I love fitness, food and fashion.
I’ve had (still having) some issues with the food, that I hope to be brave enough reveal on my blog. Currently I LOVE lifting weights and dress up every day.
I enjoy my Coffee.
Love my Wine and hope to be able to eat some Chocolate every day. (I will cover this topic later on)…
So that’s it.
My Life As It Is.